its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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