I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
