I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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