Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
