He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
