If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
