we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
