i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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