oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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