I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
