idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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