So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
