You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
