No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
