is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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