Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
