He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
