apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
