and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
