it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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