I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
