She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
