Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
