I just googled if crying burns calories
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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