Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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