WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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