after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
