I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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