My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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