I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Screwed.edu
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
