I'm going to jail i love you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
