I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
