apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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