I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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