somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
