The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had to cum in my sink.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
