It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
