Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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