What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
