After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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