dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This toilet bowl is my home.
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