He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
