i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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