i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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