we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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