Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
