Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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