found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
