I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
