he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
